Tuesday, December 10, 2024

New Year, New Me: Resolutions Nigerians Plan to Break by February

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The new year has a way of bringing out our best intentions. A fresh start, new opportunities, and the perfect time to hit the “reset” button. Nigerians, like many others across the world, are known for making ambitious resolutions as the clock strikes midnight on December 31st. From vowing to hit the gym regularly to promising to finally save money, the list of new year’s resolutions can be endless. But let’s face it – by the time February rolls around, many of these resolutions are already gathering dust.

So, what are some of the most popular resolutions Nigerians make, and how long do they really last? We dove into the fun, sometimes hilarious, and always relatable world of new year’s resolutions.

1. The Gym Membership Resolution

Ah, the classic. It’s a ritual that has become almost as predictable as fireworks on New Year’s Eve. Nigerians start the year with high hopes, signing up for gym memberships and downloading fitness apps, convinced that 2024 will be the year they finally get those abs. There’s no shortage of gym-goers in January, and you might even see some of your friends posting workout selfies on Instagram.

However, by February, the numbers start to dwindle. Those gym clothes that were bought with the best of intentions are now sitting neatly at the back of the closet, and the once-packed gym is now more empty than a cold January night in Lagos. After all, who can keep up with early morning routines, squat sets, and that strange concoction called “keto” when there’s jollof rice calling your name?

Reality Check: By February, the “New Year, New Me” gym-goers have either swapped their gym shoes for slippers or abandoned the idea altogether. But hey, maybe next year!

2. The “I’ll Save More Money” Promise

Every January, a significant chunk of Nigerians decide that this is the year they’ll finally take control of their finances. They promise themselves they’ll save more, cut out unnecessary spending, and avoid splurging on “small small” things like pizza and Uber rides. There are even those who open new savings accounts with plans to contribute every month.

But before the month is out, they find themselves splurging on a “little something” from the latest fashion trend, or, worse yet, they end up at the ATM withdrawing “just enough for the weekend” and declaring, “Na only small money I save, no wahala.” By February, the savings plan is often a distant memory.

Reality Check: By February, those who had vowed to save are likely spending on a new phone or fresh outfits for their friend’s birthday party.

3. Saying Goodbye to Bad Habits

Bad habits – we all have them. Whether it’s smoking, binge-eating, procrastinating, or texting your ex at 2 a.m., New Year’s resolutions are often about breaking these habits. Nigerians resolve to finally quit smoking or drinking, promising themselves that 2024 will be a healthier year. But we all know how this goes: One “last drink” turns into another, and suddenly, you’re swiping a cigarette out of your friend’s hand and questioning why you ever thought quitting was a good idea.

For some, it’s quitting unhealthy foods – no more suya, no more pounded yam, no more small chops at every party. But then, there’s that moment when the fried fish at a wedding looks just too tempting, and the cravings resurface like an old flame you thought you’d gotten over.

Reality Check: By February, you’re likely back to your old ways – either smoking a pack or downing a bottle of palm wine – as if the resolution never happened. But don’t worry, there’s always next year.

4. The “I’ll Get More Organized” Dream

Another popular resolution is to finally get organized – clean the house, declutter the wardrobe, and make sure the year ahead is as structured as possible. Nigerians start the year by clearing out old clothes, books, and unused items, hoping to bring in good vibes and more space in their homes. Some even go as far as creating vision boards and detailed calendars for their goals.

However, by February, the vision boards are collecting dust, and the only thing that’s been organized is your WhatsApp chats, which you’ve sorted by contact name, last message, and “important” groups. The piles of clothes you meant to give away are still sitting in the corner of your room, and your calendar has long been abandoned after you realized how impossible it was to stick to that “no-procrastination” plan.

Reality Check: By February, the only thing organized in your life is your social media feed, while the real-life clutter remains.

 

The “I’ll Spend More Time with Family” Pledge

It’s easy to say, “This year, I’ll spend more time with my family. I’ll go on family outings, visit relatives more often, and create memories that will last.” Nigerians are all about the family unit, and the intention is there. In January, everyone’s excited about the idea of bonding more with family – from random check-in calls to spontaneous family dinners.

But by February, work, life, and Netflix seem to take over, and those “weekly family dinners” get pushed to the bottom of the priority list. Let’s not even talk about the last time you visited that uncle who’s always calling to ask when you’ll drop by.

Reality Check: By February, you’re too busy to even send the “How are you?” texts. But at least, your aunt is still praying for you.

6. The “I’ll Travel More” Wish

Every year, Nigerians make bold promises to travel more – either abroad or around the country. Whether it’s booking flights to Dubai or planning a visit to the Olumo Rock in Abeokuta, the idea of exploring new places is exciting. But reality sets in when the budget falls short, or when there’s another wedding to attend in the village. Travel plans often get replaced with a trip to the nearest food joint or a spontaneous visit to a friend’s house.

Reality Check: By February, that trip to Bali is on the back burner, and the only travel you’re doing is to the corner shop to buy some nkwobi.

The Verdict: Resolutions Don’t Last, But That’s Okay

Let’s face it – New Year’s resolutions are often more about wishful thinking than real follow-through. By February, many Nigerians find themselves going back to their old ways, but that doesn’t mean they’ve failed. After all, the beauty of the new year is the hope it brings. Even if we don’t stick to our resolutions, the intention to improve is something worth celebrating.

So, whether you’ve hit the gym for the first few days of January or you’ve already enjoyed your first “cheat meal,” remember that there’s always next year. For now, enjoy the journey – no one’s perfect, and hey, there’s always January 1st, 2025, to start fresh!

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